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August 26th, 2009
09:53 pm - You, know, I'm not too keen on being a magic-user.
I Am A: True Neutral Human Sorcerer (4th Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-14
Dexterity-13
Constitution-15
Intelligence-18
Wisdom-16
Charisma-14
Alignment:
True Neutral A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn't feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he's not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some true neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. True neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion. However, true neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it represents apathy, indifference, and a lack of conviction.
Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.
Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.
Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)
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January 19th, 2009
12:06 am - The School for Heroes
So I've been told that it's been reopened, which filled me with much joy, and then I re-register Arkayanon, leaning heavily on reinstating him as a Warrior. Success. Then I make another profile to be a bard. This was all yesterday. Tonight, for shits and giggles I decided to retake the test as thought it were me, Brian, and re-enter Arkayanon's name. Lo and behold I found that I could tweak my numbers and still be in the Warrior class. So now my results stand at:
| Class | Score | | Warrior | 19 | | Paladin | 7 | | Wizard | 12 | | Bard | 20 | | Rogue | 1 |
Heh. That's all I've gotta say. Heh.
Oh, and I'm still techinically in the Warrior class. :D Ok, so I did kinda go easy on some of the obviously wizard answers. It wouldn't do for the uncomfortable-with-magic Kay to suddenly return as a Wizard. Or would it have...... Pssh! Nah!
Current Location: Rock Hill, SC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/giddy.gif) giddy
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September 8th, 2008
12:25 am - Surprised Myself Today
So, for the past week I've been trying to find the opportunity and the courage to actually do this and I almost got pissed at myself because I thought I had missed the opportunity for another day, a day in which I was determined to get this done. So what did I do? It's actually pretty simple.
I asked a woman out for coffee.
She's someone I work with, in different departments that sometimes have some overlap. I enjoy talking to her, I do think that she's pretty/attractive/any and all words like these, and I like her company for the short times they are, but I never feel like I'd ever get the opportunity to get to know her while at work. So while I'm on my dinner break and she's on her way out, I catch her at her car and ask if she'd be interested to meet me for a drink outside of work. She said yes but needs to get back to me about her schedule for the weekend as she may need to babysit for her aunt at some point, and she'll tell me what that is by way of a text message, which meant that we needed to trade phone numbers.
Honestly, this was easier to do than I expected. As soon as I was walking I didn't feel anywhere near as nervous as I was before I stood up to start walking. Yes, I could feel and hear my heart pounding. The asking was so much easier than the thinking about asking.
Now I've got to figure out what to do next.
Current Location: Rock Hill, SC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/jubilant.gif) jubilant
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August 30th, 2008
10:10 pm - Change of Plans (for this post)
So I had planned on talking out my opinion on how the world should be (gee, that didn't so dictatorial in my head) and the difficulty getting to that point because it depends so much on people taking responsibility for so much more than they think about. Anyway, I've decided to change that and kinda go into how I've been seeing myself change.
I have always been the thinking type: going over every detail before making a decision, over-analyzing everything, especially myself, tucking away an amazing amount of random information in my head, and pretty much living life through the guiding force of logic. But here recently I've finally becoming not just a more emotional person, but also an emotional person who isn't oversteering as much.
Like on Wednesday night, I think it was, coming back from dinner at Ruby Tuesday, I was quiet and Anna asked what I was thinking. I said "nothing" which was true, I wasn't thinking about anything, I was just feeling and letting myself feel, but I wasn't trying to feel or make the feeling stronger. Honestly, I was sad, not the depressed kinda sad that I've felt a lot since my journey back into emotions began some few years ago, but just sad. Yeah, some quiet, little corner of my mind was working on understanding it, but the rest of it was turned off to just let the emotion happen and do its thing.
Then there was another night this week, Monday I think, in which I was openly giggly and silly, which I have been in the past, but never in front of anyone. I'd like to say that I was entertaining and upbeat, and probably just a hint of disconcerting to the people who've never seen that before, which would be both Anna and Chris, though Anna's seen a little bit of it here and there.
And today, after getting home from work and taking care of the chores that needed doing (trash, dishes, dinner) I felt lonely, but not the verge-of-depression lonely I'm more familiar with. I just wanted someone around, someone to talk to, someone to touch and be touched by, hell, someone to simply give me a hug.
Honestly, I've been terrified of touching people most of my life because of the way I felt each other, so physical contact of even the simplest kind has a profound impact on me. I don't know how far I've progressed with that particular feel, but I'm making steps toward not automatically assuming that me touching someone would disgust them.
I'm sure that the simple fact that I'm writing these down may seem like I'm making a big deal about them, but my intent is the opposite. When I would oversteer my emotions I wouldn't dare write about because I know that it would definitely be about me organizing some kind of pity-party for myself. What I'm trying to say is that I feel like I'm becoming more comfortable with my emotions and I'm actually letting go of control, either to intensify or restrain, and just letting them happen and enjoying them for simply being what they are. 'Course some would probably say that I'm still over-analyzing things. Well, screw you, I'm smiling, I'm happy, and I'm enjoying that. :D
Current Location: Rock Hill, SC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/happy.gif) happy
Current Music: Toothpick ~ Dirty Politicians
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June 23rd, 2008
11:27 am - Moved
Ok, so I've been moved to Rock Hill, SC for almost a month now and had internet access and cable TV for just under a week so I figure it's the right thing to do to update this thing. I haven't since I've been able to get on the internet because I've just been too tired to write something.
The reason for being tired is, I think, my job. I transferred from the Lowe's I had been working in in Sylva, NC to the one here in Rock Hill. What I didn't expect was that I would be transferring into the situation that I've found myself. About a week before I was hired three of the four people in the plumbing department either retired or quit. Now the department manager is having some non-work troubles so he's not been much help while there. I've come back the next day after he closed and the place is in just about the same condition as when I left the day before. The department is behind on something that should have been done by the fifteenth as well as having an overly long list of things to address by tomorrow. So I've been busting my ass just to catch up.
And I'm busting my ass to catch up at home too, it feels. Anna is on tour with Carolina Crown until the second week of August or so so I'm here by myself. I admit, sometimes I have wanted to kill her dogs, especially when I'm greeted at the door two days in a row by Emmot peeing right at the front door. I take them out a couple times a day but Toby refuses to take a crap anywhere but inside when no one is around. I don't know how to house-train dogs and I barely have the energy to do so with one, let alone two.
I'm also stressed with catching up money-wise. I got a promotion at work but I won't see that pay increase begin until 28th and that means that I won't see that money in my paycheck until the 18th of July. My parents owe me money, my brother owes me money, Anna owes me money, and I don't know when I'll see my security deposit from the apartment will arrive.
I don't really have many friends around here, I don't know where to go out just to be social or to just get out of the house, nor can I really afford the gas to go to too many places. Plus, when I get done with work these days I just don't have the energy or inclination to do anything more and I really take those days off right now to rest. Sometimes, as I said earlier, I don't even have the energy to sit at the computer. Like Saturday, I get off work late at 5:30something, get some needed shopping done, get home around seven and then fall asleep around nine. So my social interaction has pretty much been limited to the internet if anyone's there to talk (not often) or return emails (again, not often) or talking to friends and family who are available on the phone.
So for now I'm lonely and broke. Hopefully in a month I just be lonely. Man, that's a weird statement to make, but it would be an improvement.
Current Location: Rock Hill, SC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/tired.gif) tired
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May 22nd, 2008
08:59 pm - Sudden Feeling
I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I've been looking in the wrong direction or at the wrong things. I don't really feel like I've missed anything, just that I'm looking at things that aren't moving me or anything else forward. I get a mixed feeling of having spent my time unwisely but at the same time that I've not wasted it.
I think this might be part of the long process of me coming to terms with the fact that I can't know or predict everything when I put myself out there. It kinda scares me. No, it scares me a lot.
We get all this training growing up that things will work out in the end. We'll get that dream career. We'll succeed at what we set out to do. We'll overcome our obstacles. We'll be the hero. We'll fall madly in love and be happy forever.
This modern fiction, fantasy or mythos is deeply ingrained in all of us. Does it ever really come to pass?
What do we do when we can't get that which we want most? What should we do? Should we hold on forever hoping in vain that the Hollywood-ending will actually happen in the real world? Should we simply settle for what we can get and accept the second-best or just whatever happens to fall in our laps? Should we feel ourselves crushed under the immeasurable weight of that we want dearly but cannot have and become despondent and disconnected from the world which couldn't provide us with the fulfillment of our dreams?
I know that there are some dreams that can be won. I haven't given up on them. The hard part is dealing with the fear of impossibility thereof when it creeps up. And that fear that you've been chasing the wrong dreams.
But what about what some people say? That when we stop looking is when we find what it is we seek? That all dreams are worth pursuing? That you'll know when it happens? Why do these things seem contradictory?
I never knew, growing up, that the biggest challenge in life is deciding what it is that you're going after. I have no idea if the things that I want are the things that I should want. I have no idea if by pursuing these things that I'm not pursuing what I should be. I have this constant fear of following after the wrong dreams and I get two different message from people: that I'll see what I need to see and realize it or that I'm blinding myself to the other opportunities.
As it stands my plans include moving to Los Angeles when I have enough money and becoming an audio engineer. What if I'm supposed to be something else? Hell, am I supposed to be anything specific at all? Should I be a politician and work to grow the ever-dwindling freedoms of the individual? Should I go off and live humbly as a craftsman or inventor? Should I hide myself away and do nothing but research and learn? Should I quietly become lost in the sea of people and live an unremarkable life? Should I do the opposite and strive to be a brightly burning star of some sort? Should I wander the world exploring new places simply because I've never seen them before? If I do that, should I do it alone or share the experience? Would anyone even want to go with me? Should I eschew any professional aspirations and focus on creating a family with someone and being the best dad and husband that I can be to some currently nonexistent (or at least unmet) people?
Of all the things I have ever wanted in my life, the last one is the one thing I have always wanted consistently. In a way my dad was an inspiration to be a better dad than he was. There are at least two challenges to that right now. Me being able to believe that someone could love me (apparently not the best track record, but that might be in my own mind as well) and simply finding that person.
There are so many ways to deal with the reality that the future is uncertain. Why is mine to be deathly afraid it? To be afraid of taking the wrong path, or taking the right one and missing out on all the others. The bad part of being a "jack of all trades" is that there are innumerable possibilities and you can't follow them all. Ever since I was little and this thought occurred to me on several occasions, I always felt like there wasn't enough time. I don't feel like I'll die young(ish), but even a long life seems too short for all the things I want to do with mine.
I want to spend my time wisely but I don't want to miss anything. I've got to get over this indecision that plagues me.
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/pensive.gif) pensive
Current Music: Pearl Jam ~ "Love, Reign O'er Me"
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May 11th, 2008
10:51 pm - Finally Done
So yesterday was one of the final things I participate in that has to do with WCU and the university world. Pending a minor payment to the university, the return of my rental books, and probably something else I'm not yet aware of I am a graduate of Western Carolina University. B.A. Music with a minor in Multimedia. What kind of job that qualifies me for my brother and mom ask this morning. Honestly, not much. Pretty much all I care is that I graduated. The education that'll really help with a career I'll find in LA as I plan on attending the Los Angeles Recording School sometime next year as I aim to work in the sound aspect of film or television.
Summary of the previous paragraph: I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!
And so I move to Rock Hill at the end of the month to live with Anna in the interim. Should be fun since it's a new place and closer to Charlotte than I am to Asheville now, and the price of gas is a little less than it is here in NC, especially the mountains. I'm honestly looking forward to it. I mean who wouldn't want to live with their best friend? I say that now, but we'll probably be at each other's throats before too long. I think we've agreed to keep a tally of how often we intentionally annoy each other. Loser (the one who is less annoying) buys the winner dinner or something at the end of each month.
Also, it seems that I'm backtracking on the weight thing so I guess it's time to reassess the diet the go more hardcore at the gym. Maybe it's time to really kick it into gear and attempt to kill myself more often while there. Finding a gym is on the list of things to do immediately after moving.
Speaking of that list it includes setting up the necessities like internet and cable, finding a gym, finding a dojo until Sensei Jesse sets up shop in Charlotte and finding a therapist. With all that I may not have time to get out. I'll have to figure something or I'll have a pretty shitty social life. Gotta make time if I'm gonna meet anyone let alone manage a date.
A couple of weeks ago I figured out one of the reasons it took me so long to finish up with school. At least I think it's a reason. I'm scared. While I was in school I knew what was coming and could pretty much figure out how I was going to live while there. Now that the future's pretty open I realize just how much that scares me. I am so used to being around the university and having all these people I know and love right there. I'm going to miss those people a lot. I realized just how much I'm going to miss playing in the ensembles. Not so much the performance as the rehearsals and being around those people.
At least I'll have my best friend around. And how can you compare your best friend to a bunch of good friends. Things should be better than I'm afraid they'll be. This is probably the best post-graduation situation when compared to my other options of going back home to live in either Wake Forest or Louisburg with either my dad or mom or to stay here until I manage to get out. As much as I'm afraid, I look forward to the next year.
Current Location: Cullowhee
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/accomplished.gif) accomplished
Current Music: "This Is Now" ~ Hatebreed
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March 21st, 2008
12:11 pm - T3 is Still Out There?
So I was in Wal-mart yesterday and, as usual, I went through the electronics department and saw that they had I Am Legend for sale in one of those giant cardboard display things. Now that isn't unusual as the movie just came out on DVD, but what I found strange was the fact that more than half of them were packed with copies of Terminator 3 DVDs. Now, when T3 came out on DVD I was working at a Kmart in Raleigh and even then I thought, after several weeks, "We sure do have a helluva lot of these things, and no one seems to be buying." Now, when I say "a helluva lot" I mean more than I cared to count, and they were everywhere. Then later I saw copies of them in the cheap bins in several stores. Did the studio just make a ton of copies thinking that they'd sell simply on the Terminator name? Are they now trying their damnedest to get rid of them? I thought I Am Legend was decent, but if I were to buy it, I think I'd rather just get it on its own, even if T3 is included for free.
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/curious.gif) curious
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March 19th, 2008
03:19 pm
So I like the rain. I mean I really like the rain. One of the things I miss most about home and being younger were the days it rained all day, the days full of thunder and lightning and grey skies. (By the way, why is it that every time I type "grey" the processor tries to tell me that it's misspelled?) The world seems to have a more pronounced smell, and in the woods, after the rain, the trees appear to have a stronger contrast between their darkened trunks and the leaves that look greener to my eyes. Everything seems more alive. Sadly, when I was last at home, I asked my grandma about those day-long rains, and she tells me that they don't seem to happen as often as they once did. So maybe rains aren't going to be in my future next year as I plan on going out to LA early next year to attend a recording school so that I can have the training for what I want to do in life.
So, eventually I need to get my ass in gear and pack up as I plan on moving out of here soon after graduation. The specific residence isn't in stone, but Rock Hill seems to be the destination town. Should make for a fun six months or so.
I feel like I've actually gotten into better shape over the course of the last year, which is ample reason to be sure to find a gym. Still need to work on that diet, which is rather difficult when you think about college life when you have a job: next to no time to really cook, after a point you don't have a lot of money to throw around on good food, and just about everything nearby is fast-food or, for us specifically, heavily bread-laden. None of this really helps when I want to focus on well-cooked (not necessarily well-done) meats (reduction of fried foods, good quality meat), fruits and vegetables. Fruits and vegetables would be easy, I gotta say, it's the meat that gets difficult, and so that makes something balanced problematic. I don't want to go the way of the vegetarian route, I like my tasty animals. And for those vegetarians who are thus on moral/ethical/philosophical reasons, don't you realize that something had to die so that you could eat it? Even if it is just a reproductive bit, like in fruit, something that could have been is no more because you need to eat it. Gah. Anyway, I still stay omnivorous because of the evidence pointing toward our evolution to being such creatures.
Anyway, so I recently got a new origami book by Robert J. Lang, and it contains what are the most difficult designs I have ever attempted, which I had hoped would be the case. "Origami Insects and Their Kin," how could that possibly be easy? I figured any insect made from one sheet of uncut paper would be difficult, but he even came up with a pillbug. If you've never heard of him, check out his stuff here. This guy is awesome.
So, I just found out that Arthur C. Clarke died today. I admit that I've not really read much of his stuff, but what I have (I can't remember anything since childhood to be honest, being a voracious reader, especially then, I can't remember everything) but I was introduced to Stephen Baxter by way of "The Light of Other Days." There have been plenty of famous people who've died and only a few of them make me sad, and Arthur C. Clarke is now part of that rather short list (so short that I'm challenged to come up with more than less than a handful off the top of my head, including Mr. Hooper).
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/lazy.gif) lazy
Current Music: "Ooh La La" ~ Goldfrapp
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March 16th, 2008
09:32 pm - Three Word Quiz
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/content.gif) content
Current Music: "Break 2" ~ Scratch Track
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February 4th, 2008
01:23 pm - Over The Weekend
So, I have this to say about the boys of the Rho Tau chapter of Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia at ASU: you guys have got to learn how to make an insult. Those jabs against us at OE and Kenny were lacking in thought, timing and punch. I have heard better cracks made by grade-schoolers. At least attempt to be clever. I was more incensed by your lack of effort than by the weakling insult.
"Dream On" on clarinets went better than I thought it would, but the cell phone "lighters" in the back made me laugh to the point of distraction. Thanks for that, whomever you were.
The rest of Workshop went ok though I do feel that I have been to better and that's all I'll say about that without being asked.
I have apparently lost seven or eight pounds since the beginning of the semester and am not getting the soreness like I did in the first week. Still must find the time to work on flexibility, namely to make use of those yoga and tai chi podcasts that I've downloaded. Must find time to improve body.
Karate seems to be about learning things completely differently from everything I know. Locking knees in some stances, don't turn on the ball or heel of the foot, don't take the hit. And the simple fact that it's learning through body and not mind is something completely new for me, and I admit that it's not easy to adjust. Some of the other students are playing and "sparring" for fun and I've just not gotten to that level yet. My usual fun involves conversation, I haven't played in a "physical" sense, like that of children playing tag, in years. I have no idea if that makes sense, so feel free to request clarification.
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: happy
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January 17th, 2008
11:18 pm
So the following page can be found here. Editorial coloration is my own.
Wellness Council Tobacco Subcommittee Subcommitte News: In accordance with state law in January 1st, 2008 smoking will be prohibited in all state- controlled buildings including campus facilities. The residence halls will have to comply with the statue (sic) in the Fall 2008. WCU is also in the process of getting feedback from faculty, staff and students on designating up to a 100 foot non-smoking perimeter around campus buildings, as is allowed in the new state law. Committee Leader: Karrie Joesph kjoesph@email.wcu.edu
Healthy Campus 2010 Goal #26
Reduce substance abuse to protect the health, safety, and quality of life for all, especially children
Healthy Campus 2010 Goal #27
Reduce illness, disability, and death related to tobacco use and exposure to secondhand smoke
Priority Objectives: - Reduce cigarette smoking by college students.
- Reduce spit tobacco (smokeless tobacco) use by college students.
- Reduce cigar smoking by college students.
- Reduce the proportion on nonsmokers exposed to environmental tobacco smoke
_______________
So no one has a problem with pipe-smoking? Score. But what of cigar smoking by faculty. I know that a professor of mine last year smoked cigars fairly often as I'd seen him doing so on the way to class.
Mostly I don't like the idea of such attempts as social controls. I also see this as not going over very well when the economy of tobacco in this state is taken into account.
And what the hell is this statue and why are we attempting to comply with it? Is this some graven image or idol which I must obey? If that's so should I pray for my immortal soul? If there is such a statue, why have I never seen it nor heard of it before? What the hell is going on?
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/devious.gif) Sarcastic
Current Music: Camille Saint-Saens ~ Danse Macabre
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January 15th, 2008
09:42 pm - I am Southern, I promise!
Ok, first just an odd thought. Not long ago I bought an electric toothbrush and I must say it makes the whole act more enjoyable though I am a bit saddened that such events that happened in the story "Conversations With and About My Toothbrush" will never happen. I heard the story through Escape Pod a while ago and thought it was a cute, fun story. Maybe it just brought out that part of me that would like someone or something there to talk to and not have to worry about being judged despite the fact that the toothbrush talked of nothing other than what it wanted out of life.
Anyway, I've never really thought too deeply about my own speech patterns. The patterns of others, yes, and to great lengths (stop using "y'uns" or however the hell it's spelled and use to learn adverbs correctly!), but never really my own. That was so until a couple of weeks ago a customer at work said to me, "Slow down. I'm from the South." I told him that I was from the South as well, but he didn't really pay any attention to that. I mean Wake Forest may not be "Deep South" but South it is still.
Then it got me to really think about how I spoke and how that came about. Shoot, if you took me and both of my brothers and had a phone conversation with us, I wonder if you could tell we came from the same family, especially Jeremy, who has fully adopted the Redneck persona and lifestyle. And apparently Daniel's been told by an Ohioan that he has a wonderful accent. Hell, I don't even think that I speak as if I attended public school. A couple of years ago another student that I only knew as an acquaintance told me that I spoke like a doctor. I dunno.
All I can say is that I appreciate language and have taken classes in Latin and German largely to learn about my own language, I believe most people take foreign language classes solely to learn another language, but my intent was two-fold. I know that I spent several weeks making sure that I learned and practiced the difference between "who" and "whom."
Then, over Thanksgiving I was told that I speak with such a large vocabulary but not to lord it over others but because that is just the world I live in and that I'm ok with that.
Every now and then the accent comes through, usually when I'm yelling or angry, and sometimes the two coincide. Then there are times that it just happens and it tends to stick out, as has been noted by people. Now that I think about those times, it seems to be when I'm being more expressive than usual.
Really, what I'm getting at is that I've always been proud to have been born into and brought up by the Southern culture albeit influenced by Yankees as close as we were to Raleigh. I wonder what it'll be like if I do make it and go out to Los Angeles for further schooling and training. I know one thing, I'm at least bringing some traditional recipes and practices with me. Wouldn't that be a hell of a thing to introduce a bunch of Californians to the concept of a pig-pickin'?
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/cheerful.gif) cheerful
Current Music: Joseph Arthur ~ In the Sun
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January 12th, 2008
09:55 pm - Lot's O' Stuff
Hillary Clinton scares me. As a strong proponent for universal, governmentally-subsidized health care, she scares the hell out of me. From what I've seen, her emotive outburst was orchestrated and disingenuous and purely intended to pull in the sympathy votes. My reasons for not liking federal health care? I don't see any justifiable reason for me to pay for the medical care of others, having my money taken away by a violent system, allowing the responsibility for personal health to be taken away from the individual, and the preferable state of illness as opposed to prevention that is inherent in such a system.
Barack Obama doesn't worry me overmuch. I don't know if he has any real stance that is his own. I don't know if he really stands for anything. I don't see him as much more than a mouth-piece for the Democratic party, no real back-bone. (As great as a politician who follows the lead of others could be, if those others were his/her constituents, a politician who only does as his supposed superiors [the powerful members of the party and not the people, the real superiors] tell him/her is no better than a slick career politician.
Edwards, I just don't like him. He was a Senator for NC. At least he was on paper. I don't know if he ever acted on the behalf of our state. Seemed to me that all he did during that last term was get to know the right people to get himself in the running for President. I really don't like politicians who don't do their job and represent the constituents.
The Republicans...how can I pick on any one Republican. The vast majority of them strike me as little more than acolytes of their chosen religion: that of the Grand Old Party. I couldn't say who the leader of this order is as W. seems to be rather unpopular. Then there's my theory that all national-level politicians are near-soulless voiceboxes of political rhetoric, incapable of individual or original thought nor able to act on behalf of the people they purport to represent.
Mostly I believe that the two major parties have become ineffective, inadequate, and, moreover, detrimental. Relying on a two-party system locks us into choosing between two narrow options without the presence of other ideas. Also, their age and power is even more devastating as one must toe the party line to get anywhere (meaning national office) and greatly reduces the ability of a third (or fourth, or fifth, et cetera)-party candidate to be heard, much less elected. I would love to see a Presidential with six or so candidates on equal footing.
Now, on to other, non-political things ("...something completely different."). Last semester, at the suggestion of Anna, I bought something completely unnecessary for myself. Mostly because I usually never do anything that would normally considered "nice" for myself. So I get myself a Zune. Why a Zune in its gen1 format and not the established iPod or even the Zen? Well I don't know much about the Zen so it was out of the running. Mostly I got a Zune because I dislike the whole Apple advertising personality and it's "holier than thou" feel. I also read a lot of reviews (after sifting through tons of zealously pro- and anti-Zune writing) to find a lot of good things about the construction and a few nitpicks on the software. Now the software's not perfect (and there are a lot of things I wish I could take care of like the multiple copies of songs on the device that the software just doesn't seem to be able to see) but I've never been one to get all pissy about a minor annoyance. Overall I think that the software works fine, and usually I can take care of the problems, primarily confusing song title, album title, artist name and album art. One file I have at one time had only the song title correct, and everything else seemed to be randomly grabbed from the information of other CD's, which I fixed. Mostly I got a Zune because it was the only mp3 player I knew of with the balls to come in brown.
And I've come to really appreciate podcasts, which are available on the Zune. I've gotten myself into listening to Escape Pod, Pseudopod, The Drabblecast, Darker Projects, and Freedomain Radio quite often. Per recommendation for my desire to work on flexibility I recently added Yogamazing to the feeds I watch on my computer. I'm gonna check out Tai Chi for Well-being soon. Oh, and Stranger Things, from what little I've been able to watch so far, is a really well-done movie podcast. I love free entertainment. Which is another reason I kinda like Joost. I only say "kinda" because I've pretty much gotten out of the TV habit.
Oh, and I finally and officially graduate this May. Dr. Peebles (the head of our department, or school, or whatever the hell it is now) only found out the week before the end of last semester that another professor would approve of some class replacements for my minor program. It's probably our/my fault as we only asked him at that time. So technically I am now a graduate as far as course requirements say, but I opted to not make it official then. Walking across that stage is too important a thing to just not bother with, especially for being the first in my family to go to a four-year university and the first to graduate from anything beyond high school. Don't tell anyone, but secretly, when no one is around, I get really excited about it.
Current Location: Cullowhee, NC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/pleased.gif) pleased
Current Music: Devo ~ Beautiful World
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December 9th, 2007
08:04 pm - Finding Wisdom in the Damnedest of Places
Sometimes you don't know that you'll see or hear something in which you'll find meaning, and often, it's then that the profundity of it really sinks in.
So, while we're in California, Anna and I are eating lunch with her uncle and I mention something about waiting for a long time for a British series that's little-known in the states to be downloaded. He asks what show, and I say "Torchwood." Well he shakes my hand as he admits to me that he is a long-time Doctor Who fan and that he has a respect for me and my taste. He then goes on to say that the last three episodes of the most recent season/series are, in his opinion, some of the best and most well-written episodes in the history of the show. And I tell him that I've not really been able to catch but a smattering of the broadcast, which is still pretty young here on the Sci-fi Channel.
So a while later I do make a point to start watching and it just so happens that it's in the last three episodes. At the end of the final, Martha provides a speech for The Doctor, explaining how she feels, and I'll transcribe it here.
"Cause the thing is, it's like my firend, Vicki. She lived with this bloke...and this bloke was called Shaun. And she loved him. She did. She completely adored him, spent all day long talking about him."
"Is this going anywhere?" The Doctor asked, looking puzzled.
"Yes. 'Cause he never looked at her twice. I mean he liked her, but that was is. And she wasted years pining after him, years of her life, 'cause while he was around she never looked at anyone else. And I told her, I always said to her time and time again, I said 'Get out.' So this is me. Getting out."
And this whole opinion struck me as uncommon in television, or just about any other popular story. So often the story is is that a person waits until their love comes around, or they take action to ensure that they'll be loved by the object of their affections or something miraculous happens and everything works out. Either way, love finds a way and wins. Our hero or heroine gets what they have wanted this entire time, with the story being about their struggles, attempts, defeats and their trying again and eventually succeeding.
But this, this wasn't a failure. This wasn't a loss. This was a decision. Martha could have stayed on, pining after The Doctor who is still obviously not over the loss of Rose, and may have actually romantically loved her, but The Doctor could never see Martha, and while she was there, Martha could never see anyone but The Doctor. So it seems to me that the argument in her head was whether or not she was Vicki, if she was really blind to anyone else in whom she might find love. Because as much as she had come to love The Doctor, he truly never saw her, just looked right over her as if she was just below his field of vision. He knew she was there, but that was about it.
So, what's my point? I don't know, really. This just struck me as atypical of a "Hollywood" ending where the protagonist wins the day and gets their love. The protagonists did win the day, but Martha's love hardly gave her love consideration, if he was even aware of it.
Current Location: Cullowhee
Current Mood: Resolute
Current Music: none
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May 25th, 2007
07:36 pm - I've read the books thrice and I may see the movie as many times
This summer doesn't look too hot for movies I want to see other than Transformers, but here's one that I am looking forward to.
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May 13th, 2007
01:46 pm
Current Location: Cullowhee
Current Music: Music from the site I got this done
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May 10th, 2007
09:13 pm - Wow
Apparently Livejournal saved this draft from sometime way back early in the semester. That explains the "Wow" headline. Since it's here, I suppose I'll post it. Everything below the line is old.
Recently I've got this urge to write some kind of essay-type thing expressing my thoughts on some fairly pointless curiousities I have with my own language and home dialect. A lot of this is influenced by my studies of Latin in high school and German in college. Add to that my ongoing education in music and you get a little Italian and a very slight smattering of French (especially when you play a French version of an instrument). I guess I've always had some weird fascination/interest in linguistics, though I know I'm not one who can just pick up a language at an impressive rate. Thus far all I've considered is comparing the contractions "y'all," which I grew up with, and "y'uns," which I heard around WCU for the first time and it has still not stopped annoying me, as well as wondering if the interchangeability of adjectives and adverbs, as is the case in what I've heard coming out of most Southern mouths, is a holdover from German's influence on the English language. But I'll expound upon this later.
I've also been attempting to figure out a social model that can initially exist along-side what we have now so that it could germinate and gain strength and support itself in time because I've become convinced that much of our world culture, for several hundred years all over the world, is detrimental to the growth of our species and the ability of the individual to grow and improve their lives and the lives of those around them. I'm trying to come at this from every angle I can concieve of, which is why I'm not very far. I've only been thinking about it since December, and this sort of thinking can take years.
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Ok, so the counseling seems to be going well. I've been attending one-on-one sessions primarily and recently started up an inclusion in two groups, one called "Enhancing Social Effectiveness" (one meeting thus far) and the other "Enhancing Self-esteem" (two meetings). Apparently that seems like a bit much to try especially when I have no history of counseling, but I want to use every resource I can.
The decision to seek counseling probably took longer and required more pushing than it should have. Some of the reasons include a desire to be more comfortable emoting, I didn't want to feel afraid of not being good enough, I had convinced myself that I was inconsequential and really didn't matter to anyone, I am still afraid of physically goofing off because I think it will bring about negative opinions of me, I have made myself an island my whole life and I felt not only that I wasn't close to anyone but that I was incapable of becoming so, my self-imposed level of humility was at a rude level as that I never even accepted compliments.
I feel that I have been improving. I've not been depressed in weeks, I feel more confident, I've accepted compliments (I was told my hair looked good by someone I barely know without soliciation and I thanked them), and the fuzz in my mind that I noticed last semester isn't there anymore (that may require more explanation). I'm still working on feeling worthy of someone's time and attention, I know I still have trouble asking for help because I don't want to appear weak, and I certainly know that I'm afraid of taking emotional risks. But all of these things, I'm trying to work through.
In other news, I recently acquired quite a bit of deer meat from my brother, Jeremy, and spent about an hour after work today taking apart a shoulder. I have a new respect for butchers, as I had trouble cutting the meat so as to disturb the flesh as little as possible. A whole chicken is easy, but I have no idea what to do with the connective tissue surrounding a muscle bundle. I'll figure something out, and then the recipe experimenation will commence as I've only worked with about one quarter of all the meat he gave me.
Classes are going better this semester. I noticed a certain fuzziness in my mind last semester because I couldn't seem to pick up new information as well as I was used too. It was painfully obvious in German class, but this semester I'm soaking up everything like a sponge. My projects for my Motion Graphics class have been well-recieved, which makes me a little proud as I've had little experience with what could and should be considered visual art.
I saw that Nick had taken this quiz so I thought I might give it a go. I took two results because I was split on the answer for one question.
What type of Fae are you?
What type of Fae are you?
Current Location: Cullowhee
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/relaxed.gif) relaxed
Current Music: A santa Maria Dadas
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February 13th, 2007
11:27 pm
Busy with class, work, for-fun group projects and counseling. I really should get back on the ball on some stuff.
corlen, you're now logged in! Below you'll find your test result. After, continue on to your homescreen to discover what we're about.
the Wit
(71% dark, 26% spontaneous, 26% vulgar) |
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece |
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 92% on darkness |
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You scored higher than 6% on spontaneity |
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You scored higher than 22% on vulgarity |
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As you can see, a tie between crow, eagle and fox. I didn't see that anyone else had crow so I went with that one.
 | You scored as Crow. You are the Crow. You are able to discover your own character and help others find themselves as well. You are very creative in the field you are in and tend to be the intelligent one of the bunch.
Crow | | 92% | Eagle | | 92% | Fox | | 92% | Dog | | 83% | Bear | | 83% | Ram | | 83% | Dragon | | 83% | Wolf | | 67% | Horse | | 58% | Salmon | | 58% | Bull | | 58% | Stag | | 58% | Deer | | 42% | Snake | | 42% | </td>
Which animal totem best suits you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
Current Location: Cullowhee
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: "Mutter" ~ Rammstein
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January 16th, 2007
11:03 pm - The recurring "I'm Alive!" post
Ok, so I'm still around.
Juat got back from a Michael Lowenstern recital. I've waited a few years and through two cancelled concerts for this. I now have no non-class-related delays for graduation. I was smiling and excited, which if you know me, that's something.
I'm beginning to go to the campus counseling center to try and get myself better. I'll maybe talk about that and what kind of improvements I'm seeing.
Turns out I'll have to take seven hours of class next semester and then I'm finally and truly out of here. Gotta figure out where I'm gonna be going.
Current Location: Cullowhee
Current Music: "Seventh Heaven" ~ The Del McCoury Band
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